On August 26th, I received an invitation to attend a briefing the next day on the upcoming release of a parenting-related advisory from U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy. Unfortunately, I had a conflict but was intrigued to learn more, particularly the impact it could have on serving dads.
The Office of the Surgeon General released the advisory on August 28th. Parents Under Pressure: The Surgeon General’s Advisory on the Mental Health and Well-Being of Parents calls attention to the increasing gap between the stress reported by parents compared to other adults—stress that results from the rigors of raising children.
That raising children causes parents stress isn’t news. (I was reminded of that recently in seeing my older daughter and son-in-law start their parenting journey a few months ago and the stress they’ve experienced.) What’s alarming is how much more stress parents today say they have compared to when I raised my daughters. Even more alarming is the negative impact that stress has on parents and how it affects children negatively. Stressed parents create stressed children. And we all know about the stress today’s children face, an issue Dr. Murthy took on in 2021.
As I read the advisory, I was interested in three things:
- Whether it acknowledges the differences between dads and moms in parenting stress and mental health
- Whether it can increase the knowledge of staff in human service organizations so they can be even more effective in serving dads and moms
- Whether human service organizations can use it to better position father-inclusive programs, services, and other efforts for funding
I’m pleased to share it does all three!
Despite some valid criticism of the advisory from family-strengthening scholars including its potential for unintended, negative consequences, Dr. Murthy deserves credit for acknowledging the differences between dads and moms in parenting stress and mental health and well-being. He doesn’t treat parents as a gender-neutral group, a trap many well-meaning individuals and organizations fall into when designing programs and services that support parents. In fact, he mentions differences in some of the stressors, such as the increased amount of domestic work taken on by dads in recent decades. He also dedicates separate sections to maternal and paternal mental health.
He also deserves credit for a related discussion about the role family structure plays in creating differences in parents’ stress and mental health. Dr. Murthy notes how parenting stress is exacerbated in families disrupted by divorce, separation, cohabitation dissolution, incarceration, and interaction with child welfare systems—situations in which dads are far more likely to be separated from their children.
The advisory is an easy read and well-organized. Staff can find valuable information easily, information highlighting parenting stressors and the specific mental health challenges parents face, such as maternal and paternal post-partum depression.
Importantly, Dr. Murthy provides actions different entities can take to foster a culture that reduces parenting stress and helps parents thrive. (The web page that contains the advisory also includes downloadable infographics for sharing on social media.) This includes actions for human service organizations, one of which is to provide parents with resources that reduce parenting stressors and connect them to sources of support. Another action calls for strengthening and supporting evidenced-based and group-based programs in school-based settings, such as Early Head Start and Head Start. Organizations can use these actions to position father-inclusive efforts that reduce stressors and improve mental health for funding from public and private sources. While we need to do much more than these actions, they’re a start.
I encourage you to download, read, and share the advisory widely with the following caveat: Place it within the larger context of the positive meaning and happiness that parenting provides. While parenting is stressful—and we should do everything we can to reduce that stress—it’s a wonderful, enriching experience that’s vital to strong families and communities. Use the advisory to increase your own and your colleagues’ knowledge, advocate for providing support to parents, and acquire funding for father-inclusive efforts. National Fatherhood Initiative® (NFI) is available to help!
Are you looking for research on the differences between dads and moms in parenting stressors and mental health? Check out the ninth edition of Father Facts™, the most comprehensive source of fatherhood-related data and research.
Do you know NFI has resources addressing dads’ parenting stress and mental health? Check out our popular brochures for dads on work-family balance and mental health.
Do you also know that many Head Starts, Early Head Starts, and other school-based settings use NFI’s evidence-based and group-based programs for dads? Check out the nation’s leading fatherhood and co-parenting programs.
