The Role of Confidence in Facilitating a Fatherhood Program

When we train facilitators of National Fatherhood Initiative® (NFI) programs, we cover many knowledge and skill-based tips for effective facilitation, such as knowing the goals of the program, the learning competencies of specific activities, and how to handle disruptive participants.

In addition to those practical tips, there are the intangibles facilitators need to help fathers benefit the most from a fatherhood program. Chief among them is confidence.

You might be asking, “Confidence in what, exactly?”

I’ll tell you shortly. But first, let’s examine the role of confidence in performance.

Why?

Because facilitating a fatherhood program effectively involves a performance.

I recently read a book by Dr. Nate Zinsser; a leading performance coach of world-class athletes who has also trained Army cadets on how to leverage confidence on the battlefield. In The Confident Mind: A Battle-Tested Guide to Unshakeable Performance, Zinsser discusses the role confidence plays in any kind of performance. I was looking for additional guidance on how confidence applies to leading an organization, a role that requires performing effectively in many ways. Like most leaders of an organization, I’ve lacked confidence at times in making decisions and felt the resulting anxiety and pressure that accompanies it. I wondered whether Zinsser’s guidance could help me create a more solid foundation of confidence.

Soon after I started reading it, I realized that his guidance could not only provide me with a more solid foundation of confidence in leading NFI. I saw how anyone can apply it to facilitating a fatherhood program, a role that requires leadership.

While Zinsser provides a wealth of advice you can apply to facilitating a fatherhood program, I’ll focus on advice that ties into preparing to facilitate. Preparation is one of the most vital skills we teach facilitators. We build preparation activities into all our programs.

That advice is the importance of a pre-performance routine that puts you in a frame of mind that breeds confidence. Zinsser calls this frame of mind “a state of certainty that sets the stage for performing with internal instinctiveness.”

If you follow any activity requiring an effective performance, you’ve undoubtedly heard about top performers going through a pre-performance ritual—the golfer who takes a couple of practice swings and looks at her target twice before every shot, the opera singer who goes through his scales four times before getting on stage for any concert, or the politician who practices every speech three times before delivering it. These routines create a habit that prepares them to draw on the knowledge and skills they’ve used time and again. This helps them avoid a performance killer—overthinking their actions.

Zinsser recommends three steps in establishing a pre-performance routine:

• Take Stock of Yourself: Draw on past effective performances. This breeds confidence you can perform well this time.
• Take Stock of the Situation: Be clear on what you want to accomplish, obstacles to accomplishing it, and the setting in which you’ll perform and how it will affect the performance.
• Decide You’re Enough: Trust that you have the know-how to perform effectively again.

Before you facilitate your next session with a group of fathers or only one father (one-on-one), add a pre-session routine to your other pre-session preparation activities by:

• Reflecting on past sessions you’ve facilitated effectively. If this is the first time facilitating this specific session, think about sessions on any topic that you facilitated effectively the first time.
• Reflect on how this situation is like past sessions and how it’s different. Did you encounter obstacles? If so, how did you overcome them? If not, what obstacles might arise? How will the setting affect your facilitation? Will it be noisy, have poor lighting, lack electrical outlets for your equipment, etc.?
• When you start the session, trust your instincts. Don’t overthink what you say and how you react to what the fathers say. Go for it and have fun!

I recommend reading The Confident Mind for other advice that can help you facilitate a fatherhood program with confidence. Plus, you’ll undoubtedly learn how to apply his advice in other aspects of your life. (If you’re wondering whether it helped me, you bet it did!)

What other intangibles do you need to facilitate a fatherhood program effectively?

Are you looking for quality, in-depth training on effective facilitation? If so, check out NFI’s online, on-demand Effective Facilitation Certificate™.