5 Tips for Committing and Recommitting to Fatherhood

I've realized that exercise is a bit of a fool's game because each one of them is critical to being a great dad. Their importance is like our need for food and water. We can't do without one and rely only on the other. Nevertheless, there is one characteristic that the other two depend upon if dads are to realize their full potential as fathers--commitment. Commitment drives involvement and responsibility. It's where good fathering begins. Great dads are "hatched" when they become truly committed to being involved and responsible in the lives of their children and--just as importantly--in their relationships with the mothers of their children. 

In The Dark Knight Rises, the last installment of the Batman trilogy starring Christian Bale, Bruce Wayne faces a commitment challenge. He (as Batman) is beaten almost to the point of death by a villain named Bane who takes control of Gotham City. After the beating, which left Wayne broken physically and spiritually, Bane sends Wayne to a subterranean prison in a foreign country that only one person has ever escaped from. Wayne faces a choice. He can wither away and die or recommit to becoming an even better Batman. He chooses the latter, of course. He first rebuilds his body to become even stronger than before. Then he faces a life-threatening challenge that is vital to escaping the prison. 

Escaping the prison requires a symbolic but very real leap of faith. For an inmate to escape, he must climb the circular, slippery wall of an open hole that leads to the surface. If an inmate gets to a certain point on the wall, he must jump across the hole and grab onto a small ledge on the other side and pull himself up. From there, it's a piece of cake. The standard approach is to tie a rope to the waist so that if in attempting to jump to the ledge the inmate falls short and falls, his fall is stopped by the rope. Wayne tries the jump several times with the rope tied to his waste. He fails each time. After he is challenged by a confidant in the prison to completely commit to the jump by not using the rope, he tries again and succeeds. 

Dads must be vigilant about their commitments to children and families because those commitments are constantly challenged. These challenges can arise in the form of work-life balance, the ups and downs of marriage, and personal struggles such as addictions. Life has a nasty way of constantly challenging dads to commit to their children and families. Dads who didn't plan to have children must do the right thing and commit to their children and the mothers of their children. These dads must rise up and take a leap of faith that they can become great dads, partners and husbands in the first place. In other cases, great dads lose their way and must, through a leap of faith, rise again as committed fathers. Dads must do this even in the absence of a safety net.